UK Beauty and Lifestyle Blog

September 28, 2014

Life Lately

I've been having a bit of a weird time lately. I haven't really done much this week but I finally settled my thoughts on a number of important things that have been plaguing me. I've been in a real state of flux over the last month or so; I finished my MA, left university and moved home but about three weeks before I handed in my dissertation my boyfriend ended our relationship very abruptly and cancelled our plans to go travelling this September and October. It was a real shock and I was left with the responsibility of cancelling all of our plans, as well being owed just shy of £500. He initially agreed to pay me back as well as to send me all the belongings he had of mine (because for whatever reason he had decided he wouldn't be seeing me again) but he then went on to slowly but surely cut off all contact with me - ignoring my calls and emails, blocking me from Facebook and he hasn't done any of the things he said he would. I have to admit, at first I was absolutely devastated. It was very painful to feel so much for someone who had, overnight, unilaterally decided to cut me out of their life and to treat me so disrespectfully. However, with the passing of this last month and with all the other big changes that are going on in my life I'm actually feeling like I'm in not only in a good place but that I'm finally in the right place. Today, I feel as though I can completely let go of the relationship, but I have to admit that it is actually much harder to let go of the money. It makes me sad that I feel like this but it is so much to lose right when I'm having to start thinking about paying back my student debt and am out of work and education without any income. All of this will be dealt with in due course, I'm sure, but it has been a massive distraction in my life over the last five weeks or so, and it has wasted so much of my energy at a time when I really need to be thinking creatively about what I want to be doing with my life.

At the moment I'm just happy to be letting go of all the anger I felt about being discarded by someone who claimed that they loved me. Anger is such a waste of energy and time and I'm really working towards letting it all go. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the biggest mistakes we make are the people we choose to surround ourselves with. My way of coping has been to throw myself into the loving and supportive relationships I have with my friends and family, and to distract myself with the hobbies I love. This week has been a particularly wonderful week of distractions. I spent some wonderful time with my family (the photos in this post were taken with my dad at Chiswick house) and I also had the opportunity to see Brian Aldiss (an author I really admire and respect) speak at an event at Foyles. These two specific moments really stand out to me, but among them are countless others that warm my heart - and if there is anything that we should luxuriate in it then surely it should be our happiness. It's so easy to think that other people and their actions control how we feel. They certainly influence us, but I really do believe that at the end of everything you can reclaim yourself for yourself. I feel that recently I've let myself get a little lost. It is important to remember that our lives are so much more than the shadows that other people cast over us. 

Today, I can safely say that I am actually very happy and I am also very excited to see the way my life is going to evolve in the coming weeks and months. It is this sort of positivity that I'm going to embrace because at the end of the day that is what is going to make my life happy. Personally, when I'm not happy I can't be creative with my days, with my work, or, ultimately, with my life as a whole. And because that would be too sore a loss for me to stomach, I guess happiness just has to be on the cards. I hope, very much, that is is on your cards too. 



  1. Sorry to hear you've had such a horrible time but it sounds like you are dealing with it in a very sensible and mature way. Xx

  2. Hi lovely - just wanted to comment to say I'm sorry this happened to you. Sounds like pretty much the worst way a relationship can end. I went through a breakup out of nowhere myself right after I graduated from my undergraduate degree and it knocked me for six, so I'm glad you've dusted yourself off and are feeling positive. I really hope you get back what's yours - could you contact his family to try to resolve things?

    x x x

  3. What a horrible time you have had of late. I hope that things start to pick up for you soon.

  4. It is just horrible when a breakup happens abruptly, the same happened to me recently and it knocked me for six. That sucks that you have money tied up in it, and your ex is being immature. But that's great-you

  5. It only gets better! I was in a relationship like that once, and he broke up with me abruptly as well. It took me a while after the breakup to realize that it was emotionally abusive for me, and I'm much much happier without him as a boyfriend figure. Perhaps contact a mutual friend to do the exchange for you guys? I hope everything will work out soon!

    xx becky // star violet

  6. Hi, this was a beautifully written post and very moving. I can identify strongly with a lot of what you are feeling because I have gone through a tremendous amount of upheaval in the past year. It sounds as though things are getting better for you and I am delighted to hear that. Sorry to leave such a long comment, but what you wrote really struck a chord with me. I feel as though I have let myself get a little lost lately too, and I am slowly working on getting back to being myself. You are so right when you say that our lives are much more than the shadows others cast over us. Best of luck with everything. I love your blog and I have followed you with Bloglovin. If you ever get a chance to check out my blog I would be delighted, thanks!

    Camille xo

  7. I'm sorry to hear about your break up! I haven't experienced anything as bad as this myself, but I can imagine how devastating it must feel! I'm glad that you're feeling better now and have turned that negative energy into a positive one! Good things always happen when you think positively. :)

    Also, Nadja and I will try our best to get you on our Bloggers Tea Party guest list so you can come and have a good time with the girls. :)

    Olivia xxx
    Beauty from the Fjord

  8. *slow clap* This was so amazing to read. I know we don't know each other, but I am so proud of you for working all of this out on your own, it was very inspiring to read. Good luck with everything from here!
    x Justina //
    (trying to ramp up my bloglovin' game, help a girl out?)

  9. Men! I will never understand them, what a complete idiot and how hurtful he has been to you. You are looking forward to life with a sense of maturity which clearly he lacks. Us ladies have to stick together and you are best off without him x

  10. It's such a hard thing to turn a hugely negative situation into a positive one, so it's really inspiring to hear that you have. It's unbelieveable how you have been treated and I hope you find someone now who truly deserves you! Sending you a virtual hug xx


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